I wanted to work full-time on my own projects, teach some classes at my graduate school, travel, and return to my entrepreneurial roots as a speaker at my undergraduate university. Forgive me the self-indulgence of retrospection, but it’s been rare for me to set goals like that and actually achieve them in a timely fashion. Suffice it to say that we couldn’t have asked for more. We feel very fortunate that we can keep our lives headed in this direction.

The coming year is going to be a wild ride for us. I can’t wait to see how it all plays out!

12 years ago I was really in to rock climbing. In modern climbing there are two roles: the lead and the belay. Let’s take our cues from Wikipedia and fill out this analogy as it applies to 4HWW and families.

Lead Responsibilities

The lead sets the pace. They are responsible for placing anchors along a route, or securely clipping in to existing ones. They look ahead, planning the next steps towards safely reaching the goal. In a 4HWW family, the lead is the person designated as primary income provider. They must keep the money flowing in, and drive the implementation of “muses” (see the FHWW book ).

Belay Responsibilities

“It is extremely important for the belayer to concentrate on the climber’s situation, as they literally have the climber’s life in their hands.” Belaying is serious business. I’ve been a part of adrenaline-rush-inducing falls as both a lead and a belayer. It forms a special trust between climbers that I imagine is similar to sky-divers packing each others chutes. When the lead calls for more slack, the belayer carefully gives it, but is quick to take it up should the lead fall. The belayer does the same for a 4HWW family. They take primary responsibility for:

• care of the children
• finances, monitoring the amount of “slack” the family has
• day-to-day logistics of living

It’s not just lip service to say that the stay-at-home spouse fills a more difficult role than the breadwinner.

Communication

It’s easy for a lead to get tired and rely too heavily on a belayer, ultimately resulting in a failed attempt. Likewise, (and especially when kids are in the picture) it’s easy for the belayer to become exhausted and distracted. If either scenario occurs too frequently, then a serious adjustment needs to be made; you simply might not be ready for the “climb” you’re attempting. Needless to say that constant, open, clear communication is vital.

“But I just want to climb…”

If you’re a career-driven professional, you might be reading this and thinking “I don’t ever want to belay (in a family sense).” That reaction is probably more likely if you’re not married with children. When you think of rock climbing, you think of actually climbing. You don’t hear people say “yeah, I’m a professional belayer.” But every climber belays. Roles can change in a family, and they don’t always have to be starkly divided. In the spirit of really going for it, we will be pushing this division, to the extreme over the next several months, but it’s not going to be like that forever.

Whatever your situation, just remember that the goal of 4HWW is to work less and spend more time pursuing your dreams. For many of us, those dreams include more time with our families. If you’re not in to that, this series of posts probably isn’t for you

* photo of Maple Canyon (one of my old favorite climbing spots) taken by susanica

However, at the advice of others I trust, in combination with my own personal experience, I’m not going to be working from home. Tim has it listed as one of the 13 mistakes made by the New Rich:

Separate your environments– designate a single space for work and solely work– or you will never be able to escape it. ( FHWW, pg. 280 )

Fortunately I have an awesome mentor, Chris Conley, who is giving me a little space to drop my laptop each day at his design firm Gravity Tank. Part of my workday will be spent building up one of my main “muses” that Chris is directly involved with. It’s a project we worked on during my last year in grad school.

If you don’t have a Chris, consider setting up shop at your local Starbucks, or look into coworking. If you do end up going the work-at-home route, I can only suggest you set some firm boundaries on both space and time (with some exceptions ). Inside those boundaries, get the criticals done and get out. Outside of those boundaries, be a spouse, friend, and/or parent. Don’t lose one of the best benefits of having no boss by letting work intrude on your personal space and time.

• 1980’s: My elementary school is the first in the state to switch to a “year-round” schedule. I learn the value of, and become accustomed to, shorter bursts of focused work with vacations spread throughout.
• 1993: I spend 2 months at a summer camp in rural New York called Camp Rising Sun. I work and play with 100 boys and girls from around the world, gain a real love for people and languages of other cultures, and make lifelong international friends whom I promise to visit someday.
• 1996-98: I volunteer for a 2-year service mission to central Canada through my church, which changes my perspective on life. Related to 4HWW, I learn two valuable lessons: 1- Serving other people really does bring happiness. 2- It’s possible, and quite liberating, to live for two years out of two suitcases and on a minimal budget.
• 1999: For a class assignment, I read “E-Myth Revisited,” (one of the books Tim references in 4HWW) and it changes my perspective on entrepreneurship.
• 2000- I watch my best friend’s father retire from decades of working in the public school system. A year later he returns to the school system where he continues to work today.
• 2000- My college Economics professor instills in me a strong understanding of the concepts of opportunity cost and sunk cost. I never look at time, money, nor material possessions the same again.
• 2001- I decide and begin to declare that I want to be semi-retired at age 45. I qualify the statement with “semi” because I recognize that another 50 years of not working at all is ridiculous. I also get used to answering the question of “what will you do with your time?”
• 2002- Much to my delight, I discover an article entitled “Retire at 45,” which I write about. Thus begins my quest to avoid large homes, particularly the millstone-collar mortgage that accompanies them.
• 2002- Upon moving to Chicago for graduate school, Chelsey and I sell our car and move into a studio apartment; two things considered very unconventional for a married couple (especially to our friends back home). This allows us to enjoy the city lifestyle we want without incurring significant debt.
• 2003- I take a semester off from grad school to spend time on my own business endeavors, and I consider transferring to CMU. The counselor at school asks me if I’m stupid. After spending the semester building up my Flash skills and developing one of my muses ( WebSort ), I return to school. Chris Conley and John Grimes become my mentors.
• 2005- As graduation approaches, I form my favorite conversation-starting question: “So, if you could work from anywhere for one year, and have the same job you do now, where would you live?”
• 2006- With a new baby, the worry of health insurance, and a very sexy-sounding project waiting for me, I take a “real” job and we move to the Boston area. At first things are fantastic. Eventually, the call of entrepreneurship becomes too strong.
• 2007- I resign, giving longer-than-usual notice in order to help finish the project. A week later I come across 4HWW via 43Folders. Chelsey and I listen to Tim’s presentation from SxSW, and we decide to really go for it.

Finally, here are some past entries from my personal site that came to mind as I read 4HWW:

• Ask forgiveness, not permission
• Sunk costs
• Automated life
• Relativity